Will the real me please stand up.
It is necessary that our first step in our journey of becoming effective riders, trainers and even communicators with each other is to let go of all that is not really you. We must start with letting go of the things that hide our true self. We must let go of ego and what props up our sense of image. We must peel back the layers that prevent us from seeing the truth, feeling the truth, hearing the truth and leave only what is real.
The first difficulty with this is that we rarely are true perceivers of what is. Most of the persona we project is a combination of who we are, with who we want others to see us as, or perhaps, even a reflection of what we were told we are by someone in our story.
It is easy to be living out someone else's story rather than living authentically. It is hard to strip away the excess and get to the root because we rarely know what is real. The dance of dishonesty among other humans is often so intricate that we hold up pictures of others and of ourselves that help to perpetuate the myths. What are some of these myths?
I am glad you asked.
The myth of self sufficiency.
The myth of able-ness.
The myth of being ok.
The myth of having it together.
The myth of the shoulds.
The myth of a timetable for benchmarks in life.
The myth of busyness equalling productivity and success.
Horses can often be one of the first honest mirrors people will experience that will not tell them what they want to hear. Instead of holding up the myths they read true. Our ability to hear what they say will determine our ability to move forward in our communication with them or not.
Too often in response to this true mirror we will discipline them.
The horse will take the wrong lead, saying, "you are on the outside seatbone", and we will respond with "bad horse." The horse will run into the canter transition and say "your aids lack definite intent." We will respond with, "bad horse." This interaction can be a vicious cycle of the horse being honest and us calling them liars. Often the horse will either shut down emotionally and physically or become very frustrated with the rider leading to explosions.
So how can you learn to hear what the horse is trying to say to you?
Start with believing their story. This often times starts with embracing humility and laying aside ego. The quickest journey to knowledge is through admitting your lack. We must be willing to embrace the picture they reflect to us as true and accurate, even if it re-makes what we would like to be true. We may not like what they are saying but they are speaking from the heart.
There is another even more perfectly honest mirror. It is the Word of God. It too will cut.
But it cuts to heal.
